![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
Safe & Sound
series: Assassin's Creed
characters: the Al-Sayf brothers
rating: g
summary: Malik at six years old is very different from Malik at twenty six years old.
Sometimes, Malik thinks about what it would be like if he just left Kadar; if he decided to continue the journey to Masyaf on his own and not have to take care of someone else. It would be easier, he thinks. There would be more food for him and he wouldn’t have to worry about Kadar wandering off and hurting himself because if he just left, Kadar wouldn’t be his responsibility. If he did hurt himself, Malik wouldn’t have to care; he wouldn’t have to know. It would be easier only taking care of himself. Why should he have to take care of his brother, anyway? He isn’t Kadar’s father. He didn’t ask for this responsibility. At six years old, Malik doesn’t want the job of a parent. At six years old, Malik wants to go to Masayf where there will be enough food for him every day and he can become an Assassin and go on cool missions just like his father and kill those stupid Templars that destroyed their village.
Malik thinks about this a lot and he doesn’t feel guilty. Six year olds are selfish and Malik Al-Sayf is no exception. He’s angry and upset that his life has changed so drastically within the course of the last few days; that he has to take care of someone else like he’s their parent; that he doesn’t even know if he’s going the right way or if there’s enough food to last the entire trip or anything. Malik doesn’t know anything and sometimes he finds himself taking his frustration out on Kadar. He shouldn’t, he knows. As angry and frustrated as he is, as much as he doesn’t want to have to take care of someone else when he’s only six years old, he should at least be nicer to his little brother. But for the first week of their journey, he is the farthest thing he could possibly be from a good older brother.
At one point, he hits Kadar. That day is particularly hot and they’ve run out of water and food is dangerously low. Those things do nothing to ease the frustration Malik had already been feeling all this time, and Kadar’s constant whining of how hungry he is and how he wants their parents and how he wants to go home only make it worse. Malik yells at him. He knows that he’s hungry, he knows that he wants their parents, he knows that he wants to go home, but they’re parents are dead, they’re home is gone, and there isn’t enough food for Kadar to eat again today so would he just shut up? And then Malik hits him. The yelling served its purpose—Kadar stopped his whining after that, but at six years old Malik isn’t nearly as good at restraining himself as he will be at 26 and so he hits Kadar. He doesn’t think about it before he does it because he’s just so angry and he doesn’t know what to do to make anything better and Kadar is the only person he can take his anger out on so he does. He doesn’t even feel guilty about it. At that moment, it feels good to hit someone.
A few hours later when Kadar’s crying hasn’t slowed even a little bit and they haven’t made any progress, Malik walks over to his brother’s spot a few feet away and apologizes. He still doesn’t feel bad, only annoyed that Kadar is now crying, but it’s clear that they won’t get to go anywhere until he tries to make Kadar feel better. As halfhearted as the apology is, it seems to work. Kadar regains his usual smile and latches onto Malik’s arm as though nothing had happened. Malik almost wishes he didn’t have that arm so that Kadar couldn’t hang off of it. It’s almost as annoying as the whining and crying and Malik almost thinks there must be something wrong with him. Who could smile so easily after everything that’s happened? When they’re in the situation they’re in now? But Kadar just goes on and on and on about how it’s okay that Malik hit him because he knows he didn’t really mean it and how even though he’s only four he should have known better to say things like that.
“Besides, I should know how to dodge if we’re going to be ‘sassins!”
And as frustrated as Malik is, he can’t help but to smile at Kadar’s excitement about that.
Kadar falls asleep almost immediately that night, but Malik is still too upset to find rest that easily. He thinks about leaving Kadar more than ever now. He remembers when Kadar was first born Malik made a promise to his father once that he would never leave his brother and that he would always protect him. He remembers just a few days ago – when their parents were just killed and Malik went looking for help—he remembers taking too long to come back and worrying Kadar and making a promise never to leave him for such a long time again, but right now that hardly seems important. There isn’t enough food for both of them and Kadar is annoying him and right now he doesn’t care about promises or anything like that and why should he? When he made those promises he didn’t think things would be like this. The promise to their father was made at a time when everything seemed perfect and the promise to Kadar was made when he thought they’d be able to find Masyaf quickly, but now things are different.
He doesn’t think about it for very long, just comes to a decision and acts on it. He gathers all up all of the supplies, leaving a few things for Kadar, but taking most of it for himself. It’s better like this, he thinks. If Kadar couldn’t even dodge it when Malik hit him before, he’d never make it as an Assassin. It’s better he finds somewhere else to go. Somewhere where Malik won’t have to worry about him and where he can focus on himself and doing what he wants instead of having to take care of his little brother. He doesn’t look back when he leaves. For all his frustration and desire to do things alone, there’s another part that just wants to curl up next to Kadar and cry and apologize for being such a terrible brother and he’s afraid that part will take over if he looks back now.
Malik isn’t sure how much time passes before the sick feeling in his stomach gets to be too much and he sits down to rest for a little while. It doesn’t help and when he finally lies down to try and get some sleep, all he is able to do is cry. He cries as a six year old does, as is only natural for a six year old who has lost almost everything in such a short amount of time, and what little he didn’t actually lose, he abandoned. He regrets leaving Kadar behind. He misses his little brother’s mindless chatter and the missing weight of Kadar clinging to him doesn’t feel right. Malik gets up quickly, brushing off the dust and wiping away the tears and snot on his face and looking around to try and figure out how to get back to Kadar but every direction looks the same and Malik can’t remember which he came from.
It’s while he’s trying to figure out which direction he should go that he hears a noise behind him—almost like footsteps—and he swears that there’s the sound of sniffling to go with it and Malik spins around so quickly that he nearly loses his balance. He’s afraid it’s a Templar, come to kill him like he did to his parents, but instead of a Templar, Malik sees Kadar and he thinks maybe it would be better if it were a Templar. He hadn’t thought of it when he left, but Kadar is afraid of the dark and it’s clear he’s been crying and he’s trying not to cry now, but with the way he keeps wiping his eyes and the way his bottom lip is quivering and the way he keeps sniffling it’s clear that he won’t be able to hold back for long.
“Brother?”
When Kadar speaks it sounds as though he already is crying again and Malik tries to think of something believable to say, something that won’t let Kadar know he was about to abandon him.
“I was trying to find fire wood so it wouldn’t be that dark for you.”
Malik’s voice cracks and shakes when he speaks and he knows that Kadar knows he’s lying, but the younger boy just runs up to him and hugs him as tightly as he can anyway and Malik returns the hug.
“Brother you promised.”
Malik can barely hear him when his voice is muffled by his shirt, but he hears well enough to know that he should protest the idea that he was about to break his promise to always stay with Kadar, but what’s the use? Malik knows that Kadar will know he’s lying about that, too, because they’re brothers and somehow brothers always know everything about their brothers whether they’re actually told or not.
“I promise for real this time. I won’t ever leave you and I’ll protect you and we’ll go to Masyaf and become the greatest Assassins and go on important missions and we’ll do it all together.”
That seems to be good enough for Kadar because he nods and holds onto Malik tighter and Malik does the same and kisses Kadar on the cheek and he’s happier now than he has been since all of this started.
“Kadar?”
There’s no response, but Malik knows he’s listening from the way Kadar buries his face into Malik’s chest so he continues.
“I love you, Kadar.”
“I love you, too, Brother.”
Eventually they fall asleep like that—just hugging each other and curled up close in a way that makes them feel like they are completely safe because they’re brothers and as long as they’re together nothing can happen to them.
characters: the Al-Sayf brothers
rating: g
summary: Malik at six years old is very different from Malik at twenty six years old.
Sometimes, Malik thinks about what it would be like if he just left Kadar; if he decided to continue the journey to Masyaf on his own and not have to take care of someone else. It would be easier, he thinks. There would be more food for him and he wouldn’t have to worry about Kadar wandering off and hurting himself because if he just left, Kadar wouldn’t be his responsibility. If he did hurt himself, Malik wouldn’t have to care; he wouldn’t have to know. It would be easier only taking care of himself. Why should he have to take care of his brother, anyway? He isn’t Kadar’s father. He didn’t ask for this responsibility. At six years old, Malik doesn’t want the job of a parent. At six years old, Malik wants to go to Masayf where there will be enough food for him every day and he can become an Assassin and go on cool missions just like his father and kill those stupid Templars that destroyed their village.
Malik thinks about this a lot and he doesn’t feel guilty. Six year olds are selfish and Malik Al-Sayf is no exception. He’s angry and upset that his life has changed so drastically within the course of the last few days; that he has to take care of someone else like he’s their parent; that he doesn’t even know if he’s going the right way or if there’s enough food to last the entire trip or anything. Malik doesn’t know anything and sometimes he finds himself taking his frustration out on Kadar. He shouldn’t, he knows. As angry and frustrated as he is, as much as he doesn’t want to have to take care of someone else when he’s only six years old, he should at least be nicer to his little brother. But for the first week of their journey, he is the farthest thing he could possibly be from a good older brother.
At one point, he hits Kadar. That day is particularly hot and they’ve run out of water and food is dangerously low. Those things do nothing to ease the frustration Malik had already been feeling all this time, and Kadar’s constant whining of how hungry he is and how he wants their parents and how he wants to go home only make it worse. Malik yells at him. He knows that he’s hungry, he knows that he wants their parents, he knows that he wants to go home, but they’re parents are dead, they’re home is gone, and there isn’t enough food for Kadar to eat again today so would he just shut up? And then Malik hits him. The yelling served its purpose—Kadar stopped his whining after that, but at six years old Malik isn’t nearly as good at restraining himself as he will be at 26 and so he hits Kadar. He doesn’t think about it before he does it because he’s just so angry and he doesn’t know what to do to make anything better and Kadar is the only person he can take his anger out on so he does. He doesn’t even feel guilty about it. At that moment, it feels good to hit someone.
A few hours later when Kadar’s crying hasn’t slowed even a little bit and they haven’t made any progress, Malik walks over to his brother’s spot a few feet away and apologizes. He still doesn’t feel bad, only annoyed that Kadar is now crying, but it’s clear that they won’t get to go anywhere until he tries to make Kadar feel better. As halfhearted as the apology is, it seems to work. Kadar regains his usual smile and latches onto Malik’s arm as though nothing had happened. Malik almost wishes he didn’t have that arm so that Kadar couldn’t hang off of it. It’s almost as annoying as the whining and crying and Malik almost thinks there must be something wrong with him. Who could smile so easily after everything that’s happened? When they’re in the situation they’re in now? But Kadar just goes on and on and on about how it’s okay that Malik hit him because he knows he didn’t really mean it and how even though he’s only four he should have known better to say things like that.
“Besides, I should know how to dodge if we’re going to be ‘sassins!”
And as frustrated as Malik is, he can’t help but to smile at Kadar’s excitement about that.
Kadar falls asleep almost immediately that night, but Malik is still too upset to find rest that easily. He thinks about leaving Kadar more than ever now. He remembers when Kadar was first born Malik made a promise to his father once that he would never leave his brother and that he would always protect him. He remembers just a few days ago – when their parents were just killed and Malik went looking for help—he remembers taking too long to come back and worrying Kadar and making a promise never to leave him for such a long time again, but right now that hardly seems important. There isn’t enough food for both of them and Kadar is annoying him and right now he doesn’t care about promises or anything like that and why should he? When he made those promises he didn’t think things would be like this. The promise to their father was made at a time when everything seemed perfect and the promise to Kadar was made when he thought they’d be able to find Masyaf quickly, but now things are different.
He doesn’t think about it for very long, just comes to a decision and acts on it. He gathers all up all of the supplies, leaving a few things for Kadar, but taking most of it for himself. It’s better like this, he thinks. If Kadar couldn’t even dodge it when Malik hit him before, he’d never make it as an Assassin. It’s better he finds somewhere else to go. Somewhere where Malik won’t have to worry about him and where he can focus on himself and doing what he wants instead of having to take care of his little brother. He doesn’t look back when he leaves. For all his frustration and desire to do things alone, there’s another part that just wants to curl up next to Kadar and cry and apologize for being such a terrible brother and he’s afraid that part will take over if he looks back now.
Malik isn’t sure how much time passes before the sick feeling in his stomach gets to be too much and he sits down to rest for a little while. It doesn’t help and when he finally lies down to try and get some sleep, all he is able to do is cry. He cries as a six year old does, as is only natural for a six year old who has lost almost everything in such a short amount of time, and what little he didn’t actually lose, he abandoned. He regrets leaving Kadar behind. He misses his little brother’s mindless chatter and the missing weight of Kadar clinging to him doesn’t feel right. Malik gets up quickly, brushing off the dust and wiping away the tears and snot on his face and looking around to try and figure out how to get back to Kadar but every direction looks the same and Malik can’t remember which he came from.
It’s while he’s trying to figure out which direction he should go that he hears a noise behind him—almost like footsteps—and he swears that there’s the sound of sniffling to go with it and Malik spins around so quickly that he nearly loses his balance. He’s afraid it’s a Templar, come to kill him like he did to his parents, but instead of a Templar, Malik sees Kadar and he thinks maybe it would be better if it were a Templar. He hadn’t thought of it when he left, but Kadar is afraid of the dark and it’s clear he’s been crying and he’s trying not to cry now, but with the way he keeps wiping his eyes and the way his bottom lip is quivering and the way he keeps sniffling it’s clear that he won’t be able to hold back for long.
“Brother?”
When Kadar speaks it sounds as though he already is crying again and Malik tries to think of something believable to say, something that won’t let Kadar know he was about to abandon him.
“I was trying to find fire wood so it wouldn’t be that dark for you.”
Malik’s voice cracks and shakes when he speaks and he knows that Kadar knows he’s lying, but the younger boy just runs up to him and hugs him as tightly as he can anyway and Malik returns the hug.
“Brother you promised.”
Malik can barely hear him when his voice is muffled by his shirt, but he hears well enough to know that he should protest the idea that he was about to break his promise to always stay with Kadar, but what’s the use? Malik knows that Kadar will know he’s lying about that, too, because they’re brothers and somehow brothers always know everything about their brothers whether they’re actually told or not.
“I promise for real this time. I won’t ever leave you and I’ll protect you and we’ll go to Masyaf and become the greatest Assassins and go on important missions and we’ll do it all together.”
That seems to be good enough for Kadar because he nods and holds onto Malik tighter and Malik does the same and kisses Kadar on the cheek and he’s happier now than he has been since all of this started.
“Kadar?”
There’s no response, but Malik knows he’s listening from the way Kadar buries his face into Malik’s chest so he continues.
“I love you, Kadar.”
“I love you, too, Brother.”
Eventually they fall asleep like that—just hugging each other and curled up close in a way that makes them feel like they are completely safe because they’re brothers and as long as they’re together nothing can happen to them.